speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize