Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize