My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
