So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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