The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
