I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It was a blind-side dick pic.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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