he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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