She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
