Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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