woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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