i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
