is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
