At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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