Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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