im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
