My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
