Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
