i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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