why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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