in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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