it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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