wat bout pragnant strippers??
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
