did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
