after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize