How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
