What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
no you cant smoke seaweed
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Vodka?
Forever.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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