i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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