she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
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Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
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You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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