she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
