Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
