new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
