i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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