return my video game
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
