I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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