what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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