so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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