it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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