He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
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she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
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To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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