dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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