Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
