Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
