I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
