yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
