My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
