At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
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