I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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