I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
