There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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