Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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