i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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