i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
is it fun? or sober?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
