So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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