ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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