So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize