I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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