I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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