I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
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Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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