This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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