Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
