I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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