Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
