I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
