Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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