she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
