So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
