ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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