Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she looked like the before picture.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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